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Since the World's Been Turning

by Val M, Weymouth, MA, USA, Age 17

To be sung to the tune of Billy Joel's "Since the World's Been Turning"

Harry Potter, Ralph Nader, Dr. Phil, The Govenator
Kirstie Alley, Kobe Bryant, Disney on Ice
Prince Harry, Debra Messing, PBS, Cross-dressing
Tom Brady, Marsha Brady, Condoleeza Rice

Kill Bill Volume 2, Robert Blake, Lucy Liu
Bottled Water, Neverland, Catherine Zeta Jones
Telethons, Matt Lauer, Ross and Rachel, Eiffel Tower,
Barbra Walters, dirty bomb, Cellular phones

Chris Reeves, Peace Corps, Sponge Bob, Michael Moore
Paul Hamm, T-Mobile, waterproof mascara
Low carb, Under God, Bennifer, iPod
Hello Kitty, bin Laden, Christina Aguilera

Da vinci Code, Botox, gas prices, Jamie Foxx
Collin Powell, Kate Spade, stock market, Minute Maid
Designated drivers, Tsunami Survivors
Finding Nemo, Courtney Cox, metric system, toe socks

Blockbuster please rewind, no child left behind
Arafat, Phantom Menace, Andy Roddick playing tennis

L’Oreal, Exlax, Al Sharpton, Anthrax
John Edwards, Lean Cuisine, Eminem, Flu Vaccine

Starbuck’s, Alaska, Life on Mars, Nebraska
Whitey Bulger, Iraq, Destiny’s Child’s comeback

Got Milk? Matsui, Shrek 2, St. Louis
Lorena Bobbit, show biz, Amber Alert, Cheese Whiz

DKNY, bellybuttons, Amber Frey
Vespas, American Eagle, gay marriage is finally legal.

Giorgio Armani, Fitch and Abercrombie
Teenage mothers, AOL, military personnel

Hamptons, support our troops, Richard Reid, Fruit Loops
Golden Globes, defrocked priests, Bridget Jones, Middle East

Pat Tillman, Subway, Elizabeth Smart, Beyonce
Oprah turns the big 5-0, Gwen Stefani’s Solo

Election 2004, Taliban, Mandy Moore
Trench Coats, Phen-Fen, Mary Kate, X Men
Colin cancer, Mini Me, childhood obesity
Freedom fries, Stem cell, Kathy Lee, Chanel

John Mayor, Wedding chapel, Gwyneth Paltrow's baby Apple
Chronic claustrophobia, Anna Kournikova

Microsoft, Peyton Manning, Backdoor draft, sunless tanning
Floridian hurricanes, Janet Jackson explains

Oxycontin, HBO, Paris Hilton’s video
Mel Gibson, Black Eyed Peas, Regifting, Chuck E. Cheese

Flip flops, Purple Heart, Al Qaeda, Wal-Mart
Olympics, Spiderman, Viagra, Iran

Bill O’Reilly, Barbizon, Dick Clark, Pokemon
Sexiest Man Alive, SARS, and Maroon 5

Drunk driving for Billy Joel, Joan Rivers, Super Bowl
Laci P. washed ashore, I can’t take it anymore!