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The Speed of Angel Dust

by Shi Y, Arizona, USA, Age 16

The best day of my life was the day I went stark raving mad. I was in the infirmary of our boarding school with a fever of a hundred of four, and I was completely out of my skull. In fact, I was so delusional, I still can’t remember any of my illness before the nurses finally decided to put me on drugs to chase the hysteria away.

I woke up, lucid in the first time in what could have been hours, to find Johnnie at the side of my bed, staring at me with an unfocused look in his eyes, as if he hadn’t shifted his gaze from my face for hours.

“Johnnie,” I said, “Oh, Johnnie, I am so glad to see you.”
He jumped out of his seat when I spoke. “Mimi!” he exclaimed.
“Oh, god, Johnnie, I feel horrible. It was crazy…there were purple monkeys and pork chops everywhere.” I moaned.
“Were you in hell, Mimi?” Johnnie queried.
“What!”
“I said, were you in hell? Sally said the devil stole you.”
“No! Jeez, Johnnie, use your head for once. I was sick, and I was here in the infirmary with you, not in hell!”
“Yeah, but the nurses had to give you stuff to chase the devil away. That’s what Sally said. So it must be true because you’re normal again!”
“But Johnnie, how would I even get to hell? You know I don’t know the way.”
“Yeah, but Sally does,” Johnnie replied.
“Of course she does, she was born there. But how would I get there?!”
“By Sally!”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“By Sa-lly!” Johnnie separated the syllables, as if I were the one not making sense. “She’s the one that took you to hell!”
“But that’s not even logical! How could she do that?” I demanded, frustrated.
He leaned closer, and said, “She asked her angel friends for some of their magical dust. But you can’t tell anyone that because it’s supposed to be a secret.”
“Angel’s dust…?” I repeated, confused. And then I realized. “Oh man, Johnnie! Oh my god…I can’t believe she—yes, I can. Oh no, oh no, oh no…” I stammered.
“What’s the matter, Mimi?”
“What’s the matter?! What do you mean, what’s the matter?! Angel dust is the matter! Don’t you know what that is Johnnie?”
“Yes, it’s the dust that comes off the angels when they flap their wings. Everyone knows that,” he replied.
“God, you amaze me. You’re just so…”
“Smart?” he beamed at me.
I sighed. “Sure, Johnnie, why not.” I was preoccupied with the rather debilitating news I had just received. Now Sally was drugging me, as well as—well, let’s not even get into that. I thought for a second before asking Johnnie, “Do you know whose these ‘angel friends’ of hers are?”
“Yeah, she told me. It was Gabriel and Michael. They sit behind me in my behavioral learning class, but they’re not very nice to me,” he frowned.
“I know Johnnie. No one’s nice to you. But I need you to ask them for something called speed the next time you see them. Can you do that for me?”
“I think so,” he replied doubtfully. “But why do you want speed? You can just go real fast on your bike.”
“Yes, but I want to give Sally a present because she was so kind to me. It’s the very least I can do. And I know she likes to go really fast, so she’ll be very happy you helped me, because we both know she doesn’t have a bike to go fast on.”
“Wow, Mimi, you’re so smart. And nice. I’ll go find Gabriel right now!”
“And make sure to tell Sally I have a present for her on your way back. Don’t forget, Johnnie. That’s the most important thing.”
“Don’t worry, Mimi! You can count on me.” He smiled in what he probably thought was a reassuring manner.
“That’s what I’d like to believe, Johnnie, but sometimes I’m just not so sure.” But he was already gone, so I surrendered, again, to the irresistible pull of pink elephants and Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

Sally woke me up when she arrived. I was still in a haze, so I thought for a second she was Satan come to get my soul—but then I realized it was just his demon child.
“Hello, dear,” she said sarcastically. “How are you feeling?”
“Just great, Sally. These drugs I’m on are really helping me out,” I replied.
She sniggered. Ha ha ha, I thought. Yeah, I get the joke too, Sally, except this time the joke’s on you. Smiling, I asked her, “Did Johnnie tell you I got you a present?”
“Yeah, he said it was really nice or something.”
“Well, I don’t know about that. It’s just pixie dust,” I said, and pulled out the little packet of pixie dust I had refilled with the powder Johnnie had brought me earlier.
Sally smiled and clapped her hands. “Is it the kind with the stick that you lick and dip in?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“Aww, you’re killer, Mimi! You know that’s my favorite type!”
“I sure do. Just trying to be nice,” I smiled.
She looked up suspiciously, and I realized I had put it on a bit too thick. I added, hastily, “Well, the truth is, Johnnie gave it to me and I really hate pixie dust but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so… well I know you like it.”
She nodded. “That sounds about right. You’d never do a nice thing without some kind of ulterior motive.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, well, you know me. Anyway, much as I’d love to talk, I’m not feeling so great. Maybe you should go.”
“Alright. See ya.”
“You bet,” I said.

And I did see her. When I woke up, she was on the cot next to me, and I tell you, she did not look too good.