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Rapunzel - A Modern Fairytale

by Erica M, Castleton, ON, Canada, Age 16

Once upon a time there lived an entertainer named Britney Spears and her fiancée Justin Timberlake who was also an entertainer. They made lots of money and decided have a child. When Britney learned she was pregnant she began eating a lot. She ate everything and eventually Justin had to sell all their mansions except one to buy more food, but soon all of that money was gone too. To survive , Justin decided to steal food from their neighbour’s house. Helga – a very big Swedish masseuse – was their neighbour, on the night Justin went to steal some food he was caught. He repeatedly apologized to her, partly because he was truly sorry for stealing the food, and partly because she was so big that he was scared to death, so they came to the agreement that Justin could have all the food he wanted from Helga in return for his firstborn child.

In a couple of months Britney and Justin’s firstborn child arrived, Helga came and took the baby girl away immediately and named her Rapunzel because it was a very popular name at the time.

Rapunzel grew to be the most beautiful girl ever, and she had many suitors including Paul Walker, Brad Pitt (who left Jennifer Aniston for Rapunzel), and Ricky Martin to name few. Ricky Martin always came to Rapunzel shaking his bonbon, giving her expensive gifts, and professing his undying love for her. Helga soon had him deported because she found him to be quite annoying. Enrique Iglesias became Rapunzel’s most ardent suitor, but Helga would not let them be together because she did not want Rapunzel to fall in love and leave her for him so she locked her in the top of the CN Tower. Rapunzel often called Enrique on his cell phone at 1-800-HERO, and one day they came up with an escape plan.

The next day Rapunzel cut a hole in the glass floor in the CN Tower, Enrique flew his personal jet up there and rescued her but Helga saw their attempted escape and she grabbed the jet (because she was such a big powerful woman) throwing Enrique out and saving Rapunzel. Enrique fell to the ground but the Sky Dome roof had been left open that day as the Blue Jays were playing a game, and one of the players cushioned Enrique’s fall. Helga however decided that teenagers are more trouble than they are worth so she took Rapunzel to a beach house of the coast of California where Helga’s good friend Arnold promised to protect Rapunzel “with all the power vested in him by the state of California”.

Rapunzel practiced her singing and by now she could sing a lot better then both her parents, and everyday she sang a song of grievance for Enrique whom she realized was her true here. Enrique bought a yacht and sailed all over the world in search of her, finally one day he heard her magnificent voice off the coast of California and he sailed there finding his true love at last. They were very happy to be reunited, and quickly sailed to Las Vegas to be married, (with Arnold as witness) and they lived happily ever after….for about two minutes until Ricky Martin discovered where Rapunzel was and he came to her once again buying her lavishly expensive gifts, professing his love to her, and shaking his bonbon.

The End