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Love
by Shandelle W, Toronto, Canada, Age 18

Picture yourself on a bridge, by a fountain that towers over your head. There on the shore by the newspaper taxis you see the girl with the sun in her eyes.

The imagery in the first paragraph is pretty good, but it will be so much better when I get into the story. Imagery is my main focus. Oh, if you haven’t already figured it out, I’m writing from Brian’s perspective.

You walk along the bridge and through the fountain’s spray to take a seat next to her on the ground made of clouds. She doesn’t look at you, but already you can tell that she’s stunning and unique.

Wait, maybe they should already know each other, it’s less creepy that way. I’ll write about them being together instead, and how amazing it is.

You look at her with kaleidoscope eyes and say to her "I love you". You both lay under the tangerine trees looking up at the marmalade sky. You pick her green and yellow cellophane flowers and she flashes her smile at you again.

I actually like how insane this sounds. I like how there’s hardly any dialog but you can still tell that they love each other. Maybe that’s just me though because I can see this in my head. I know you probably think that the cellophane flowers and such are metaphors for something – which they could be – but they’re not in this story. They’re purely literal. The sky is orange in my head and I love it!

She takes out your picnic basket and feeds you marshmallow pies. After the picnic you both get up and climb into your boat on the river. You sail past the flowers that grow so incredibly high, and the smile.

See, I used personification here. Clearly flowers can’t smile, but my story is so crazy that it makes sense anyway.

The rocking horse people on the shore watch you sail by as they too eat their marshmallow pies. You’re distracted by the beautiful scenery when the girl with the sun in her eyes calls you; you answer quite slowly. She tugs on your looking glass tie, pulls you inward, kisses you, and you’re gone.