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Backfire
by Alena C, Richmond Hill, Canada, Age 17

My thoughts are racing but I can’t speak,
You can’t seem to recognize the blood on my gown.
If you think that I can handle this, I can’t, I’m too weak,
You know what you’re saying is bringing me down.

I’m not the one that you have known,
She disappeared faintly and never returned.
Your eyes show me pity and go through me right to the bone,
You can’t take away from me what I’ve earned.

I thought the present would change from the past;
But as each day passes by, my wish is disintegrating.
I crave to run away and make this fight our last;
But this empty cage has taken away my sanity, it’s excruciating.

Endless thoughts of pain and misery reach out and haunt me,
To express blood is a tempting diversion.
These tight grey chains everyday is all I see,
Welcome to this life-the hell version.

My fists slowly clench and my nails are digging deeper,
My tears are drying up and there’s fire in my eyes.
I see a dark figure behind you; it’s the grim reaper,
But yet you’re continuing; you are not wise.

The threats and pity will do you no good,
At some point this will all unexpectedly backfire.
There is nothing you can do to change this depressing mood,
To keep my composer is to be a convincing liar.

To ingest colored chemicals will be my only escape,
To feel that moment of fantasy will fight off the demons.
I can’t seem to find any other logical way,
My sanity is fleeting from these conditions.