From the Summer 2001 Issue
REAL LIFE

X-RATED HALLWAYS
Save it for the movie theatre!
A rant by Frank Palmay, 17 - Young People's Press

What is it with teenagers' blatant disregard for others?

I walk through the halls of my school only to see couples playing tonsil hockey. I'm sorry but I have a problem with that. I mean, we are not the Holiday Inn and these people get under my skin.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the intimate company of the opposite sex - but I leave the intimacy for elsewhere. I don't loiter in the hallways between classes with my lips stuck firmly to someone else's face for so long that people stop to wonder if we'll ever come up for air.

And I don't understand why others do.

Why is it that teens are so infatuated by their mates that they can't go a few hours without locking lips? Could it be that we feel we must exhibit our primal animal instinctive desire? Even caged monkeys at the Metro Zoo don't go at it 24/7!

Or maybe it's an ownership thing? Since most young people lack their own car, house, or anything else of real value, perhaps they feel they have to show their status through their mate. Even the most financially troubled of my friends has found someone to cling to in the halls, someone to display and to embrace for so lengthy a time that it makes Canadian winters seem short.

Perhaps it's simply a popularity contest. Teens may assume that having a boyfriend or girlfriend automatically makes them "cool". I know that it's a trap I've fallen into on more than one occasion. Being single and feeling out of place, I struggled to find someone. When I finally did, I wanted to make sure that everyone knew about my newfound coupledom.

Why do teen couples cling to each other like cellophane clings to rotting fruit? Could it be lust? Could it be ownership? Could it be popularity or animal instinct?

I just can't understand the fascination with public displays of affection and frankly, I can't stand it!

Maybe that explains why I'm still single.

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