MUSIC | REAL LIFE
From Issue #18
Good Charlotte Talks About Suicide
Living Proof: On Dealing With Life and Death
by Maya Chendke
You walk down the school halls, trying to will yourself to be
invisible, to blend with the background and escape the teasing,
bad grades, and unhappy family life. Wherever it may stem from,
there’s a lot bottled up—today could be the day you are sent
over the edge. Then a dark thought flickers and you wonder if
it would be possible not to feel anything at all.
HOLD ON.
When punk band Good Charlotte
released the single, simply titled
“Hold On,” they opened up a dark
discussion about the real effects of suicide.
“The more people talk about it, the more
people will feel comfortable talking about it,
and maybe there will be kids that reach out
and get help before they do anything drastic —
like take their life,” says guitarist Benji Madden.
The band penned the song as a response to
overwhelming fan letters they received which
were snuck past security guards, or even passed to
them through other bands. “There were so many
letters where kids would say ‘I was feeling suicidal
and out of place, and then I heard your record and felt
like I had some place to go,’” says guitarist Billy Martin.
“That happened so often that it was impossible to write
every one of these kids back. It’s like a big, massive
thank-you letter back to the kids for holding on.”
The song also mirrors some of the hardships faced by the
band while they were growing up. Lead singer Joel Madden
recalls what it was like for him and Benji, his twin. “From like
14 to 20, the teenage years were just shitty,” he says. “When
I was 15, my dad left my family. We had nothing, and we were
alone. I was going to school, and it was really hard. We were
broke and everything. I didn’t think it could get any worse,” Joel
says of the toughest years of his life.
Benji says the thing that
turned their lives around was music. “I know there were times in
my life where if I didn’t have music, I don’t know if I’d be here. Music
is what gave me hope through so many situations in my life.”
Joel would listen
to Green Day and
Rancid when he felt
down and out, when
he felt misunderstood.
“It was kinda like ‘no
one understands, and
no one really gets it but
me.’” The messages in
the music weren’t as
clear- cut as “Hold On,”
though.
“It wasn’t like ‘things are
gonna get better,’ but it was
like ‘life’s hard, but you gotta
keep going.’”
Billy also sought comfort in
music. “When I was a kid and
I was upset, I’d go to my room
and put on a CD and just sit
there and be like ‘one day when
we get signed… one day when I
get to be like that…everything will
be perfect.’”
He believes having a goal to work
towards is what keeps you focused.
“There is no magical thing that
makes everything better. No matter
what you do, you gotta work for
something. Happiness is never gonna
be handed to you, perfection is never
gonna be handed to you.”
The guys admit that although riding a
wave of success is a dream come true,
money still can’t buy you happiness.
“You always think that getting your dreams
will fix everything, but it doesn’t,” says
Benji. “Actually, you put all this stuff on the
back burner and it gets worse,” he says of
becoming distracted by work from dealing
with hidden issues like isolation, depression
and suicide.
The band tackles all these different issues in
their new album, The Chronicles of Life and
Death. “This album is very personal in a real way
of who I really am and how I really feel,” says
Joel. “There’s someone out there that feels the
same, that feels alone, that doesn’t really
like themselves, that doesn’t feel they can be loved
— and that’s me. And through the songs,
they can relate.”
GETTING
HELP
“A lot of kids are also not only
embarrassed about it, but sort of
maybe in denial about it,” warns
Billy. “Kids don’t want help from
other people because they think ‘if I
admit I have this problem everyone’s
gonna think I’m weird.’” Around the
age of 13, Billy’s mother suspected he
was depressed and wanted to take him
to therapy because she was afraid he
was suicidal.
“I definitely never
contemplated that far, but I know there
are points when you feel like you don’t
fit in and you only have your one friend
at school or something…and you spend all
of your time at home and stuff. I know my
mom would come to me all the time and say
that, and I’d be like ‘Therapy? I’m 13; I don’t
need to go to therapy. That’s crazy!’”
Though
he wasn’t so critically over the edge, Billy
encourages being open if parents or friends
approach you. “Let the people that love you
help you because obviously they’re coming to
you because it’s out of desperation, and they
feel like they’re seeing a difference, and they
really want to help.”
“I came to a point, it wasn’t that long ago,
where all my dreams had come true, I had
everything I could ever want,” says Benji, of
achieving a seemingly perfect life. “It was like ‘I’m
here!’ and everything is supposed to be perfect.”
But it isn’t. “It’s a constant struggle you’re gonna
have to work through your whole life,” agrees Billy.
Joel admits, “I’m still working on myself as a person.
I don’t think it’ll ever end.” But there’s a silver lining
for him. “I feel more confident in myself. I’ve been
through the worst.”
FIND A PASSION
Is there a magic path to happiness and success?
Billy believes in finding what truly makes you happy and
using it as momentum against negativity.
Benji also
realizes that life is always going to have its ups and
downs. “It’s just all about surrounding yourself with the
people that you love and just doing things that you love to
keep you going,” he says.
He also copes by creating music.
“We write songs for ourselves, and as much as they are for
fans sometimes, a lot of the time we’re trying to encourage
ourselves. As for Joel, he says “We care about all those
kids, and it hurts us when they end things because it does
get better. I’m living proof.”
PLACES YOU CAN TURN
Kids Help Phone
www.kidshelpphone.ca
Kids Help Phone, open 24 hours a day, everyday
at
1-800-668-6868 (toll-free)
Metanoia
www.metanoia.org/suicide
The Suicide Information & Education Centre
www.siec.da
The Canadian Association for
Suicide Prevention
www.suicideprevention.ca
Prevent Suicide Now
www.preventsuicidenow.com
