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Ask Ed & Red

Ed The Sock And His Gal Red
In every issue of FAZE MAGAZINE,
our readers bare their souls to
Ed & Red, Canada's high priest and priestess of morality, etiquette and, especially, common sense. Here are Ed & Red's unfettered and heartfelt replies.

Send your own questions to ed@faze.ca and hopefully Ed & Red will be able to answer you in an upcoming issue of FAZE.

ISSUE #46 Q & A

Faze Reader:
I am trying to get my boyfriend a good gift for his birthday. The thing is, he is the best gift giver ever. He spends so much time and effort, and always winds up getting me the most considerate gifts, while I ALWAYS WIND UP FEELING LIKE AN IDIOT when I give him something like a tie. What is the best gift you’ve ever been given, and do you have any suggestions for the ultimate birthday gift?
ED:
I don’t get the big deal about birthdays. Exactly what achievement are you commemorating? The day you were born? You had nothing to do with that. Give your mother a gift; she did all the work. Tell him the same thing, and give his mother some …flowers.
RED:
It’s not about what I’d like; it’s about what he’ll like. A good gift is an indicator that you’ve been paying attention to him. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just based on his interests. In general, effort and thoughtfulness are more important than how much something costs.


Faze Reader:
I have a friend who always speaks her mind and puts in her two cents EVEN WHEN PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. She gives me her opinion on boys I like, my job, my grades and even my family. It’s getting really annoying. How do I get her to stop the judging?
ED:
Is she usually right or wrong? If she’s wrong, point that out to her. If she’s right, start listening better. This advice is coming from someone who does exactly what your friend does. In the end, people thank me for it. The ones that still speak to me anyway.
RED:
My technique is yelling, “Holy unsolicited information, Batman!” in situations like that. Or I’ll do something equally geeky until the person gets so weirded out that they shut up.


Faze Reader:
I have a friend who is dating a guy who is a complete jerk. He’s rude to not only all of her friends, but also to her in public. The thing is, I am pretty sure SHE IS STAYING WITH HIM BECAUSE OF HIS MONEY: his family is loaded, and she gets to go on all these awesome vacations with them and never has to pay for anything because of him. I feel like she lets him get away with being a total loser because he buys her nice things. How do I tell her that that’s not a good enough reason to be with someone?
ED:
Sounds like your friend’s as shallow as a saucepan. Good advice will probably just over… ow and make a mess. She’ll learn her lesson on her own. Guys who think they can buy pretty things eventually get tired of the current pretty thing and go † nd a new one they think is shinier. When it happens, don’t say, “I told you so.” Tell her it was me.
RED:
It’s really not appropriate for you to offer that opinion unless she asks. The only thing you can speak about is your personal experience: how what he does to you or around you makes you feel. However, if the real issue is your friend’s materialistic streak, that’s an issue between you and your friend, not her boyfriend.


Faze Reader:
My mom is the WORLD’S BIGGEST NAG. I’m not sure if it’s because I am getting older or if she’s actually getting worse, but it’s so unbearable. The biggest issue is cleaning my room, which I † nd to be so stupid because it’s MY room. If she doesn’t like the mess, she doesn’t have to deal with it because, technically, she shouldn’t be going into my room anyway, right? We get into this † ght every week. How do I get her to respect my privacy and stop treating me like a 5-year-old?
ED:
Stop acting like a 5-year-old. Is that really the † rst step you want to take towards having control over your life: leaving your room a pig sty? You want your mother to respect your choices, then make choices. Not cleaning your room isn’t a choice; it’s a cop-out.
RED:
Your mom can’t be the world’s biggest nag; mine is. Just kidding. If you want to totally throw her for a loop, ask her, “What’s really bothering you about my messy room? Why does it bug you so much?” Be prepared for a really out-there answer though, if you don’t get a by-the-numbers “because I’m the parent” response. Fights over messy rooms are usually † ghts about who is in control of that room, and, unfortunately, it’s your mother’s house, so your mother’s rules. It’s probably not about privacy at all. And really, are you trashing your room as a protest against your mother? There are more effective ways.


Look out for Ed's compilation CD!
Featuring "songs that don't suck"
(With tracks from Sum 41, Swollen Members, Gob, Bif Naked, LiveOnRelease and more)




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