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Ask Ed & Red

Ed The Sock And His Gal Red
In every issue of FAZE MAGAZINE,
our readers bare their souls to
Ed & Red, Canada's high priest and priestess of morality, etiquette and, especially, common sense. Here are Ed & Red's unfettered and heartfelt replies.

Send your own questions to ed@faze.ca and hopefully Ed & Red will be able to answer you in an upcoming issue of FAZE.

ISSUE #41 Q & A

Faze Reader:
So my best friend—love her to death—has this boyfriend that I really can’t stand. Actually, it’d be closer to say I HATE him, but that’s a different story. WE USED TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER AND NOW I CAN’T GET HER TO CALL ME BACK WHEN I TRY TO REACH HER. She does everything she used to do with me with this guy and acts like there’s nothing wrong with totally ignoring me. I love her, like I said, but she acts like I’m kidding every time I mention it. How do I get through to her?
ED:
What happens to girls with new boyfriends is the same as what happens to boys with new girlfriends. Remember how much you played with that new toy on Christmas morning, forgetting about your older favourite toys? And, after a little while, you went back to your old toys? Kinda like that. If he’s that big a jerk, just have patience, she’ll dump him or get dumped soon enough.
RED:
But friends aren’t toys, Ed. This is lame behaviour, and it’s all too common. Girls get so excited about having a boyfriend that they lose themselves in the process. That being said, the only thing you can do until a boy-crazy friend comes to her senses is not to take it personally—use it as an opportunity to make some new friends.


Faze Reader:
My parents have been sneaking around together. It sounds weird, I know, but they were separated for awhile (my Dad moved into an apartment on the other side of the city) and they told us it was going to be permanent. NOW HE’S OVER ALL THE TIME AND I’VE WALKED INTO ROOMS WHERE THEY CLEARLY HAD JUST BEEN MAKING OUT. Gross! There are late night phone calls and weird disappearances. Do I confront them about it, so they can stop all this secrecy? Or, should I let them get back together fully first?
ED:
Would you like your parents to stick their noses into your personal life, or keep a respectful distance? Same applies. There must be a reason they are sneaking around. Don’t try to figure it out: adults are weird. You will be too.
RED:
I agree with Ed on this one: be glad your parents are working things out and leave it be. They may be trying to see if this second try at things works out before officially getting your hopes up.


Faze Reader:
If a guy tells you that he wants to keep your relationship secret because it makes things more exciting, how long should you go along with it? I REALLY LIKE HIM, BUT I WANT TO TELL MY FRIENDS! Help!
ED:
When should you stop going along with it? Right about... now. Without knowing the specifics, like is he in the same school or not, I can’t be sure, but guys keep relationships secret usually only if they are having another relationship at the same time. Not saying this is the case, but something creepy is going on.
RED:
Ed’s right: this is always a warning sign that something is up. If he’s not willing to let your relationship have some daylight, he’s not in it for the same reasons you are.


Faze Reader:
A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE HAS BIEBER FEVER—LIKE, AS IN SHE SHOULD BE IN A HOSPITAL BED, SHE’S THAT SICK. She’s been to a bunch of his concerts and is convinced he recognizes her every time. She thinks that they’re going to get married and refers to herself sometimes as Mrs. Bieber. I like the Biebs as much as the next girl, but this is too much. How do I give her a serious reality check?
ED:
Reality will give her a reality check. I knew a girl who thought she was going to marry alt-rocker Beck. Big surprise: never happened. Every wave of teenage girls needs a heartthrob crush they can later look back on with red-faced embarrassment. There were New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC... Now there’s Bieber. It’s the circle of life.
RED:
I had friends like that. It’s seriously annoying. And it wasn’t that long ago that Team Edward was the obnoxious pretend boyfriend of the month. When I was in your shoes, I just played along to keep the peace. She won’t believe you when you tell her that, as a rule, celebs don’t make good boyfriends, but don’t dump on her crush. Focus your reality check on the idea that you’d like to talk about something other than the Biebs.


Look out for Ed's compilation CD!
Featuring "songs that don't suck"
(With tracks from Sum 41, Swollen Members, Gob, Bif Naked, LiveOnRelease and more)




Follow Faze on Twitter @FazeMagazine





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