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In every issue of FAZE MAGAZINE,
our readers bare their souls to
Ed & Red, Canada's high priest and priestess of morality, etiquette and, especially, common sense.
Here are Ed & Red's unfettered and heartfelt replies.
Send your own questions to ed@faze.ca and hopefully Ed & Red will be able to answer you in an upcoming issue of FAZE.
ISSUE #16 Q & A
Faze Reader:
A girl I know in class has really bad breath. I’m not sure
she is aware of it and I really don’t want to get into it with her
either. I just want to know if someone who has bad breath can
realize it and do something, without me having to say anything?
ED REPLIES:
Well, think about it — she still has bad breath.
So either she can’t realize it on her own, or she’s realized
it and doesn’t care. If it’s the latter, then you need to find better
friends. If it’s the former, that answers your initial question.
So now it’s up to you whether you’re going to gently tell
your friend about her problem, or constantly stand
upwind of her.
Faze Reader:
I just want to be
left alone. Is it too
much to ask? If I
don’t call some
friends for a day or
two, they call and
leave all kinds of
messages. They
always want to hang
out or talk on the
phone. When I don’t
return their calls,
they get mad. What
is a polite way of
telling everyone I
just want my space?
ED REPLIES:
You’re asking the wrong guy for advice
about being polite. But if I were to take a flyer on
this, I’d say that friendship is a two-way street and you
can’t just expect your friends to spin their wheels until you
feel like talking to them. You need to find a compromise
between your friends’ desire to talk to you and your desire for
some space. Though why they want to spend so much time
with you is a mystery to me, ‘coz you seem like a
misanthropic loner. Though so am I, so
consider that a compliment.
Faze Reader:
I really like this girl but I don’t think I can afford her. She has
expensive taste and dates guys with cars. I could take on the
challenge of trying to date and reform a princess but I don’t want
to end up hating her. What should I do?
ED REPLIES:
You want to reform a teen princess? Why not save yourself the
intermediary step and just go right to bashing your head against a wall?
Forget it.
Faze Reader:
I just
found out that
my current
boyfriend
knows my ex.
The break up
with my ex was
pretty bad and
I’ve never
spoken about it
to my
boyfriend. I’m
afraid now that
he’ll get the
wrong version
first. Should
I volunteer my
past or believe
my ex will
be polite
about us?
ED REPLIES:
Generally, you shouldn’t trust an ex
to represent a break-up accurately. But if
you’re a teenager, you should NEVER trust an ex to
represent a break-up accurately. There are too many
ego issues involved. But don’t go all emo and make
some tearful confession to your boyfriend...just fish
around and ask him if the ex has mentioned
anything about you, and then deal
with that.
Faze Reader:
I like this guy, and we’ve
been friends for a really long
time. We were gonna hook up but
then he got really popular with
the girls at school and now looks
like he’s not interested in me. Are
guys always immature like this?
ED REPLIES:
Yes.
Faze Reader:
I have a crush on my older sister’s friend, and I know it’s totally
against the rules to even be thinking about her, and if my sister ever
found out, she’d make a big stink about it, but I really want to ask my
sister’s friend out, should I?
ED REPLIES:
For the purposes of this answer, I’m going to assume
that you’re male—though your letter doesn’t specify. If, in fact, you’re
female, that opens up a whole other can of worms I’m not getting into here. Now,
the answer to this really depends on too many variables for me to give you an answer
— such as the relationship with your sister and her friend’s comfort level with dating the
brother of a friend. But there’s a more important question you’re not asking here —
would an older girl want to go out with a younger guy? Generally, the answer is
“no”. So until you start shaving regularly, stick to girls who enjoy the
romantic allure of riding with their dates in the back of a
stank city bus.
Ed's compilation CD, Featuring "songs that don't suck"
(With tracks from Sum 41, Swollen Members, Gob, Bif Naked, LiveOnRelease and more)
Follow Faze on Twitter @FazeMagazine
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